About Anger Management for Men
Angry men are most often good men who struggle to express complex emotions in more nuanced and functional ways. We come by this difficulty honesty. When many of us were boys, we didn’t have men in our lives to model experiences of grief, sadness, shame, or disappointment. Maybe we grew up with angry fathers who conditioned us to blow up with little provocation. Perhaps we watched other men treat us and those around us with disrespect, and so we are prone to do the same. Maybe we learned to “stuff it,” and our bottled up feelings turned to rage and hostility.
Our culture further constricts the emotional experience of men. Often, expressions of anger are rewarded as masculine displays of dominance and “power” (nevermind that we seem to have little control over it!) Additionally, competition and performance are emphasized at the expense of pleasure and true fulfillment. The result is that many of us are angry and feeling downright miserable.
And although anger feels a certain way, it also “thinks” a certain way. Sometimes, anger convinces us that we are 100% right, leaving little room for important others in our lives, such as partners, friends, or children. Other times, anger tells us it’s ok to act on every impulse because we are “justified.” And sometimes, anger turns inward. As hard as we might be on others, we can be twice as hard on ourselves.