Anger Management for Men

Transforming Anger
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“When a person’s speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply.

                    ― Thích Nhất Hạnh, Anger

About Anger Management for Men 

Angry men are most often good men who struggle to express complex emotions in more nuanced and functional ways. We come by this difficulty honesty. When many of us were boys, we didn’t have men in our lives to model experiences of grief, sadness, shame, or disappointment. Maybe we grew up with angry fathers who conditioned us to blow up with little provocation. Perhaps we watched other men treat us and those around us with disrespect, and so we are prone to do the same. Maybe we learned to “stuff it,” and our bottled up feelings turned to rage and hostility.

Our culture further constricts the emotional experience of men. Often,  expressions of anger are rewarded as masculine displays of dominance and “power” (nevermind that we seem to have little control over it!)  Additionally, competition and performance are emphasized at the expense of pleasure and true fulfillment. The result is that many of us are angry and feeling downright miserable.

 And although anger feels a certain way, it also “thinks” a certain way. Sometimes, anger convinces us that we are 100% right, leaving little room for important others in our lives, such as partners, friends, or children. Other times, anger tells us it’s ok to act on every impulse because we are “justified.” And sometimes, anger turns inward. As hard as we might be on others, we can be twice as hard on ourselves.   

Therapy Can Help You:

  • Recognize the many faces of anger, including violence, destructiveness, explosivity, hostility, whining, debating, compulsive substance use, and depression
  • Develop an emotional vocabulary for experiences so you can understand and deal with them more effectively
  • Manage and resolve physical symptoms associated with anger by increasing connection with the body 
  • Develop a relational tool kit for dealing with perceived slights, and repairing interactions with others
  • Identify and transform angry thoughts
  • Address underlying trauma which leads to chronic anger, defensiveness, poor self-esteem, and hypervigilance
  • Make lifestyle changes for more enjoyment, relaxation, and play (sorely missing in the lives of angry men!)

Too much anger leads to heart disease, ulcers, and physical illnesses. Hostility wrecks marriages, keeps us from progressing in our careers, and holds us back in many other areas of our lives. But most importantly, the escalating suffering of unmetabolized anger inevitably leads us down a spiritual path of embitterment, ultimately leaving us cynical and alone, always looking for someone else to blame. Is this the way we want to live out the rest of our days? Not me!

My aim is to help men free themselves from the grip of toxic anger, to help them step off of the path of embitterment and onto one filled with wisdom, love, and humanity. When you’ve decided that enough is enough, I’ll be ready to help you change your relationship with anger.

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